if i had a summer it would look like this: June 2010

Sunday, June 27, 2010

millions of mollusks

I want one of these but my friend Mya said they are illegal and also says that "you can't neuter a hermaphroditic mollusk"

I'm really into this childrens book called Millions Of Cats by Wanda Gag:

Went to Shareen Vintage yesterday for a job interview. The position is "in house stylist" and OH MAN!!!! Do I want it bad. Its an AMAZING store. If you're in LA check it out for sure, no boys allowed. While I was there for the interview I purchased an outrageous dress:

I feel kinda like this today

and this

love always,

Shortshorts

Saturday, June 26, 2010

speaking of the bird in my freezer,
I would really like to work here, or volunteer here, or just be aloud to walk into this place. This photo is from one of the backrooms at the Museum of Natural History in NY,
birds in drawers,

This is also a good thing to do with dead birds.

does anyone wanna tat this on me? i would do it myself but i had a bit of a scare a few days ago, which landed me (and shortshorts) at a god-fearing, ink hating Boston loving-urgent care clinic
everythings fine, don worry, the diagnosis turned out to be that god was just punishing me for poking myself.
anyway. this is next on my list, horny toad cryin blood.

lovin apache

Friday, June 25, 2010

"She followed him from Phoenix out to Californ, and then she passed out on the bed"

lil shortyshortshorts is back in Cali this weekend. I decided not to drive myself out there this time because the Bus was cheaper AND an adventure and if the summer time is for ANYTHING it's for an adventure.... needless to say it was far from fun. Bus left at 11:30pm, was packed, and sleep was not an option. I would have sedated myself beyond the two glasses of wine I had with Apache Presley before I left but I didn't want anyone stealin my shit while I was knocked out on dramamine.

Verdict: I would pay any amount of money to never take the Greyhound bus ever again, however this is adorable:

I found this photo and thought of Apache Presley and the bird in her freezer.

mix tape.

As per usual, my love affair with Luna continues. This song... I just.... this song...

I wish the quality were a little better but it's some nice early footage.

love always,

shortshorts

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Beyonce knows

L got me on this Beyonce kick.

I officially think Beyonce is a positive female role model in pop culture, not to mention she teamed up with Lady Gaga in one of the most nonsensical videos of all time... which is awesome.

But on a more serious note.... if I were a boy....

annnnnnnnnd this video is fuckin fantastic, clean, simple, I'm glad it is what it is.

we belong to nobody

... nobody belongs to us, we don't even belong to each other....

Monday, June 21, 2010

TV eye, street chic

if these were real, you know I'd be wearing them

guess what I'm making this week? who wants one?

love shortyshorts

Taking Your Chicken. Not Your Car.

part 1 of 6. watch the rest! worth it, mom's promise.

Lou, duh.

How to throw the ultimate True Blood watching party a la Shortshorts:

so you're a fellow fang-banger freak like the ladies of SUMMMMER CANNIBLES? Have no shame girl, or most likely homosexual boy! Sing it loud, sing it proud, and if you're the buddy with the HBO hook up, sing it by throwing the most fangtastic Trueblood watching party ever.

1) create a facebook invite, even if it's only going to be 3 or 4 of you watchin, facebook invites are fun and I support any excuse to create one (ie beach blanket bango party! pagen rotting meat sculpture party! or my personal favorite: the it's 5 o'clock somewhere poolside drinkathon party!). There are a bunch of cheeky True Blood posters you can find in a google image search, I went with this one:

2) find a fitting red wine for the evening and make sure you have enough. I found this 2006 sanoma county red at AJ market (Tucson AZ) on sale for ten bucks. While I was shopping for wines a clerk came up and asked if I needed any help, right as the words "do ya have anything that has a Vampire themed lable?" were about to fall outta my mouth I found this one:

3) I went with a small grocery store baked triple chocolate fudge cake (also from AJs). If you put it on a nice cake plate (and if you don't have a nice cake plate, what is wrong with you? you can find a great one at st. vincents if you're on a budget (who isnt?) for a dollar or two. It's a worthy investment) it'll look bad ass, and pro.

4) For a savory snack I went with garlic rosemary and thyme crackers and peacock brie (which is the brie with the peacock on the label!). It's simple and yum. do it.

5) a single rose in an antique medicine/booze bottle makes a really nice table accent. Also nice to wake up to next to your bed in the morning... sexyyyyy you can almost hear bill whispering "Sookie..." in your ear... but that might just be me.

6) set the damn Tivo to record! no matter what, shit happens, and you don't want any of your posse missing a single moment of this bloody goodness. Set the Tivo and wait untill your whole party is present, has wine/cheese/cake. It'll take a lot of stress off the situation, besides, watching TV in real time is so ten years ago.

7) Make sure your furry friend (if you have 'em) is ready to rock, TRUTH: animal companions love trueblood.

8) SEASON THREE DRINKING GAME: Ok, it's not just us, shit is getting fantastically gay in season three of trueblood. Have your favorite booze handy and everytime things get a lil gay (bill/sam, erick/godric, jason/andy, lafayette/anyone) someone has to call it and everyone has to drink. I'm not gonna lie, my heart skipped more than a few beats with the Bill and Sam fantasy sequence. We're just wondering when the ladies are gonna start gettin busy with each other.

9) for dessert serve "blood gelato!" (oh you know what tone I'm using), pick up some raspberry gelato at frost (Tucson AZ), or hopefully you live in a city that has a gelato shop. Which is most of them... so if you don't, well, I'd be suprised that you even have HBO, or teeth.

10) end the night with a "AWW SUKI.... I mean SOOKIE" by snoop dog sing a long. I'd post the video, but I already posted it the other day.

11) since we can't drink True Blood, why not "Smoke some true bud"!! just a suggestion.

12) Don't want to throw your own True Blood watching party because you're lame and refuse to learn the sacred art of entertaining? COME TO MINE! Text, call, or email for info/address/ect.

Love you all, always and forever in vampire years (so thats FOREVER forever),

Shortshorts